It's the end of day 4 of my 30 days of freedom. I had no idea how many logistical things would have to be done before I started taking action on new ideas, feelings and emotions. So, the past 4 days, while productive, have been largely introspective. I've learned a lot about the world, myself...or, actually, "relearned" is a better term. I'm uncovering truths I'd forgotten and here's what I've found in my soul searching:
So, those are my biggies. In 4 days, I've gotten lots of "small detail" lists done, obviously have done a lot of soul searching, redefining and plotting. Now it's time to take action.
I look forward to whatever's coming next, and am actively seeking my joy and everything that feels "right" in life.
Day one of thirty. Thirty sweet days. One twelfth of one whole year.
When I had decided to take a new "day job" that offered more opportunity and compensation, I thought it only fair to give my "old job" a good amount of notice. I'd been in my position for more than three and a half years and hundreds of loose ends needed to be tied up. Someone had to be trained in what I specialized in. Or so I thought.
Instead of accepting my notice, my company did accept my resignation, and told me to go ahead and leave...they'd (generously) compensate me through my notice date, but that my continuing to work for them, having accepted an offer from a competitor was not in their best interest.
I have to admit, I felt like I'd done something wrong, like *I* had been the "dumpee" rather than the "dumper". I found myself asking "What's the catch?".
And then I stopped. Because for years, I've lived with ideas, and songs, and music, and dreams, and "what ifs" that always came back to the same excuse: there's just not enough time in the day.
Someone or something- call it God, call it the Universe, call it luck, call it angels- has gifted me what I've silently begged for in prayers, through frustrated tears, and moments of elated, passionate, directed-at-my-dreams joy: I get time.
It's funny because in some ways, I feel like I've been given a "death sentence". Like, I have 30 days to live. The only (beautiful) difference is, at the end of 30 days, I get to keep on living (knock on wood), but my life might- just MIGHT- be forever changed based on the actions I take while I get to live for me. Rather than "living like I'm dying", I get to "live like I'm living".
And so, live I will. I have so much to process right now I honestly can't say where I'll start. But I know it will focus on making music and sharing that music. It will focus on improving my body, mind and spirit. It will focus on inspiring others, doing good, and hopefully changing a life other than mine, if even for a moment. It will (of course) focus on being an amazing mother to my son. It will focus on making, cooking, and doing beautiful, heartful things. It will focus on learning and listening and being mentored.
I don't know where the days will lead me, but I know they must consist of one crucial ingredient: Action. I don't want to stop moving. If for 30 days, I can take action, in all thoughts and all dreams, I have no idea where I'll end up, but I know I won't be sitting where I am currently. In some way or another, I will have moved, changed or evolved.
So, today was technically day one. And I don't want to focus on the "details"-- the whats. Because it doesn't matter. What matters are the results, the emotions, the outcomes. But here are the detail "cliff notes":
-Thoroughly enjoyed my favorite Nashville brunch at Mas Tacos. Their chilaquiles and iced coffee have become a bit of a tradition on the East side.
-Met an interesting couple who bought a few of Beckham's old baby things. Lovely to connect to new souls.
-Got an iced tea at Starbucks and after being kindly complimented by my barista, felt compelled to "pay it forward". Paid for the car behind me. Soul filler.
-Listened to some Americana/Bluegrassy music at Antique Archaeology. Tourist in my own city. Supporting musicians. Meeting said musicians, one of whom is a mother of a 3 year and 5 month old. Play date plan initiated. Music, music and more music.
-Field trip to Porter Flea- twice a year artisan fair- to support local artists. Bought some rosemary mint, charcoal and goats' milk soap. Beautiful, robust, bustling Nashville...I fall more in love with this city and its people (artists) every day.
-Salad at Five Points Pizza. Live, love, eat East Nashville.
-Work on songs, business and ideas
-Dinner and a movie. A funny movie. Good for my laugh lines.
So, there you have it. Day one is here and gone. And I'm happy with how it went, but, am happy to report I could have done more. So, that becomes the goal: Do more. Do better. Be more and be better.
My last thought on this (my first of 30 days) is that I have lots of dreams for myself, but I want to know YOUR feedback. What are the things you would do if you have time for yourself? Any challenges you want to extend to me?
I'm going to try and blog every day, but want to be careful to have the blog be the effect and not the cause. I want life and living and doing to be the focus, and the documenting to be something I'm inspired to do, rather than obligated to do. I really can't wait to see what happens next, and I'm excited to share this adventure.